ThirdCavalryWife's Blog

Thank you Doolittle for your comment. I wasn't sure how people in this area would receive that first post. I showed it to my husband and told him how everytime I would write something in the past, I would erase it. I guess out of fear that people would view this with a lot of negativity. So I told him that I finally let it go and let the blog go on display. However, with that being said, I wanted to once again state the fact that I in spite of what has been vented, I am truly proud of not just my husband, but also my nephew who served a tour in Iraq, and every soldier that signed on for this mission as well as in Afghanistan. And I am also proud of my children for  being so brave as well as all the other thousands of them that have a parent in a combat zone or should I use the technical term and say "occupational zone." These kids are amazingly strong, and sometimes I wonder if this is are the generation of kids that will finalize the change that is needed.  

     I remember the moments that I would be missing my husband so much, and when I would see his eyes looking at me through my daughter's stare, it was very painful but yet comforting to know that he was in all of my children. But then sometimes I would catch myself imagining what it would be like to stare into those same eyes, if I ever had the burden that so many others had, and tell them that he wasn’t coming home. 

      Sometimes I wonder if I was blessed by his injuries, because I know he wanted to be able to retire from the Army. I know that probably sounds very selfish, but things are not looking good in Iraq right now and his unit is about to ship out again towards the end of this summer. I guess your heart starts becoming very cold after it is tormented with silent roll calls almost on a daily basis. My husband asked me once; if I would be able to go on living if he did not come home. To this day, I could never answer that, because after seeing so many widows having to do just that, they seemed much stronger than what I imagined myself to be. He made me promise that I would continue with my life, but that was a promise I couldn’t make because part of me died just watching him go into lock down a few hours before they left the base.

     Sometimes I  look back on my childhood, and think about how at the age of around 6, I had and still have a great respect for the soldiers of past war. And although I never met any before World War II and Vietnam, I have always had the same respect for all of them. My husband’s grandfather served in World War II (Army), and his uncles served in Vietnam (Marine), and God bless them for what they did. Shortly after my husband’s second year long tour, his uncle passed away from his service in Vietnam called agent orange. I remember working at the airport in Colorado, while I was still in college and I met a World War I veteran. He was such a humble man, and on his way to meet his first grandchild. He saw a picture of my husband on a chain around my neck and asked about him. My eyes teared up when he told me to thank him. I said “Sir, with all due respect, it is you that deserves a thank you. He smiled and left with a stuffed animal in hand for his grandchild, (a gift from me.) I think about him a lot to this day, because that man definitely deserved more than what I had purchased for him.

     You see, even though I may have came across as how hard things are for military families during this war. I also had many incredible experiences as well, and I have met some of the most honorable people that exist in this world today. And I am proud when I say that one of them lives with me.